It is Mother's Day.
I have very conflicting emotions today. I woke up today, went online and images of mothers and babies floded my screen. It is a joyous time to celebrate motherhood. There are poems and sayings about the amazingness of being a momma.
I want to be a Mom to Eliza. I want to kiss her and love her.
A Mom's job to meet the needs of her child. For Amara and Callen, this means giving them nutritious foods, opportunities to grow, learn and explore. Loving them, reading to them. Teaching them.
Eliza's needs were different. All she needed was for me to provide a safe haven while transitioned from this world to the next.
But as all mothers know, we can always do better. And while I have very few regrets about anything that we've done, I still wish I could have been stronger for her. I wish I could have embraced her while she was alive. But it was so much, and I was so broken.
I wish I could not just meet the basic needs of my children, I wish to excel at them and give them everything I have. They are, afterall, the beat of my heart.
Amara, Callen, Eliza.
ACE.
*Sigh*
No comments:
Post a Comment